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‘Mothers Medicine’ is the book about the birth of my intuition. It narrates my experience of motherhood through birth trauma, chronic pain and opiod addiction. The story was born out of my frustration to try and solve what is largely a mystical problem through physical means. It was only after a visit to a medical intuitive for the first time, who described my subtle energetic body as empty and vacuous, that I woke up to my inner power. She said I needed to call my spirit back if I was to survive in this lifetime. So off to India I went…
Extract from ‘Mothers Medicine’ – chapter 11
The Rishis refer to our intuition as the ‘Buddhi’. The Buddhi lives in the heart which is considered the organ closest to your soul. It has the largest energetic field and is like mission control for all your emotions. I knew this intellectually as a cardiac technician but never knew its real power. So I didn’t have to believe it existed anymore because I actually felt and experienced my own spiritual power. And experience trumps belief. Belief is contained in the mind. It is logical and based on opinions whereas an experience is real and embodied. It is literally beyond belief.
One of the reasons I think that Indians are so happy is because they live in a culture where doubt does not exist even outside of their temples and ashrams. I really do believe that there are sacred locations on earth that open us up to expanded energies and an expanded sense of soul. I, like the ancient Saints and Sages and Sadhus, felt there was some greater power at work here. Clearly this idea did not originate from me though. These mystics have absolute faith in a higher power because their daily rituals supported their experiences. And it was the moment I realised that I didn’t need to seek or give power to things outside of myself when I understood that I had it in me the whole time. My highest power was already inside me. I believe it is available to anyone and at the crux of it all, the solution to all suffering is this spiritual connection. I’m pretty sure anyone who has tried to solve an inner problem by outer means has come to the same revelation. It’s a universal truth. That us humans are, by design, our very own healers. Your Mother’s Medicine comes from a vibration of love and when we are in that state, our pathway to healing is loud and clear. I also felt that to truly transcend my pain I had to become my own guru. It’s just like the Good Witch Glinda from The Wizard of Oz says:
“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”
As I prepared to return home back to reality I picked up a book to read for the journey home. It was called ‘A Goddess Amongst Us’. It told the story of the life of Anandamayi Ma. She was a famous Hindu Indian Saint born in the late 19th century and was known as the ‘Joy-Permeated Mother’. She embodied the true essence of the divine feminine refusing to be called a ‘Guru’ so was affectionately known as ‘Ma’. This was because she possessed a combination of the sweetness of maternal affection and the profound depths of the Mystical knower of the Goddess. It read….
‘Her sweet smile held everyone spellbound and there was the profound sense of knowing her at a deep and eternal level, and a sense of being known by her from all eternity. Those who had met her felt as if they were meeting their very own after a long absence and were reluctant to leave her presence. Even people who were not interested in religion and spirituality were attracted to Ma as she awakened a deep spiritual longing in a completely natural and spontaneous manner in everyone.’
Why exactly did Ma captivate people’s hearts then? Because her blissful states would inspire others to remember that aspect of their true Intuitive nature. Their own Mother’s Medicine. She led by being the breathing example of intuition and living honestly and transparently through her soul. I wondered if I could maintain this feeling of clarity and connection when I arrived home. Whether that little piece of India would stay in my heart. No matter how much chaos, craziness and change surrounded me as a mother, if I could trust my inner guru to follow my intuition, I would arrive at my own ‘Joy-permeated Mother’.
My experience in India was profound. It made the ghastly good again and turned it into gold. The gold was buried inside of me the whole time. The gold was my guru. And It was these words that sealed my spirit back into my body as I was ready to return home.
‘I am my own guru.’
*This article was first publishing the Spiritually Fierce magazine issue 3 2019.
Tina is an author, yoga and meditation teacher, medical intuitive and retreat leader.
Tina became a mother to two children in the space of one year after a traumatic first birth. Her entry into motherhood was then marked by a quick return to work followed by burnout, shingles and the development of a three year opiod addiction to manage the subsequent chronic pain condition. Tina now empowers women to become their own healers. Tina’s service integrates over fifteen years experience and wisdom working in the cardiac medical industry and in the healing arts.
Tina feels very strongly that we already have the resources within ourselves to heal. We just need support to remove the resistance and fear that drives ongoing physical and emotional pain.
Her work blends modern medicine with ancient intuition. Through her innate ability, Tina is unafraid of the shadow work helping her clients feel completely safe, calm and supported. It’s a very
collaborative and powerful experience which attract clients that are ready and willing for transformational change in their health.