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One of the most familiar concepts in the intuitive process is forgiveness. Which you think you might understand, but chances are you haven’t been using it quite right.
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the ability to let go of negative thoughts about something, or someone. This includes thoughts and emotions like anger, guilt, jealousy, hatred, mistrust and self-loathing. And there are plenty more that I haven’t named.
A famous quote states that holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness takes on the wonderful philosophy of the movie Frozen: Let it Go. And when you let things go, intuitive intelligence can take its place.
In life, people will hurt you and let you down, some more than others. Some people seem to get hurt an awful lot. It’s completely natural to feel pain when this happens, and not be instantly okay with the person that wronged you.
Hanging onto those negative feelings towards others doesn’t affect their lives; it affects yours. These feelings stop you from being able to open up to trust and love again, and stop you from having fun and accepting new experiences. At its worst, you can hang onto these feelings across lives, meaning that not being able to forgive in a previous life can hold you back in this one. The mistrust you feel can manifest itself as fear in your present life; a fear which you need to face.
If you are hanging onto a grudge because you want the other party to acknowledge what they’ve done, you could be waiting a very long time. You may never get the apology you are looking for. And even if you do, this still may not set you free or give you the closure you seek.
Forgiving someone else doesn’t mean you have to actively be nice to them; you don’t even need to tell them. You are not excusing their behaviour. But you need to completely free yourself. This can take time and a little work, but I mention a couple of processes you can use to start this further down in this blog.
Surprisingly, forgiving yourself is even harder than forgiving someone else. If you feel like good things never happen to you, and the universe’s rewards just aren’t coming your way, it could be that you aren’t acting like you deserve them. If you believe you only deserve bad things, how can you possibly open yourself up to good ones?
This means letting go of things like guilt, self-loathing, lack of worth, failure, inadequacy and inferiority. It means learning to stop putting yourself down.
That all sounds really good of course; who wouldn’t want a life free from self-hating baggage. It is possible, and is part of the central work you will do to activate your intuitive intelligence.
Connect with true love inside yourself
When you hold onto negative feelings you are basically accepting unhappiness as your partner for life. Every day, unhappiness will be there, and beneath this, there will be relentless feelings of fear. Together these things will stop you from living your fullest life.
Once you make the choice to forgive yourself, or anyone else that is causing you pain, you open yourself up to love.
As I’ve said before, if we don’t move from choosing fear to choosing love we are holding back the opportunity for our best possible life. The price of not taking active steps to move towards your own happiness is too high. A life without the gift of love is one you’ll just repeat again and again.
Facing your fears about love
Forgiveness allows you to let other people in. It also gives you the freedom to be truly yourself. With this freedom, the rewards you want from life can start to come your way, and as the open-hearted warrior, you will be ready to accept them. Through intuitive intelligence you move from Let it Go, to Bring it On!
When you forgive willingly, you are the master of your own destiny.
The things that people do to you, and the pain the world causes you, is out of your control, but the way you react to it isn’t. By forgiving you take back your power and remove all the bite out of the fear inside you. By forgiving you reconnect with your natural instinct to love yourself. We have this when we are very young, and sadly usually disappears in our early school years.
Intuitive intelligence teaches you spiritual fierceness, enabling you to face your fear and trust that you are the infinite. The act of forgiveness is central to this.
How to forgive
Taking steps towards forgiveness is an easy path to start. With every step you take, it will come easier to you, and you will become more in touch with your own inner strength.
The first step is making the choice to try to forgive and accepting that you don’t want to be unhappy or unworthy anymore.
The forgiveness list
Start by writing down everything that you are feeling resentful about or thinking fearful thoughts about. Be specific. Do not just write: ‘My ex for cheating on me.’
There are many types of betrayal that happen when someone breaks your trust; try and break these down into separate items on your list. Go through your whole life and try to include everything. It may take you several attempts because it can be a confronting list to write.
Most importantly include on the list the things that you need to forgive yourself for.
Putting things on paper has a number of benefits. It can bring out into the open things that you were unwilling to admit to or face. Shine a light on things you were hiding in the shadows of your soul. This process can minimise thoughts or feelings that when trapped inside of you felt massive. Writing the list can make things feel real that you had convinced yourself were figments of your obsessive imagination. It can open up your emotions, which admittedly is like a raw wound, but this is a necessary part of the process.
Once you have your forgiveness list you can take steps to face each of the items.
Embrace positive words
Self-love and internal peace are highly sought after by many spiritual seekers. I’m sure if you are reading this, there are a number of words and sentences you have banished from your vocabulary, and possibly from your life. Practice saying these words, and attach them to people or to yourself. This includes saying things like:
- I’m sorry about…
- I forgive you for…
- I love you…
- I am worthy of…
- I am enough.
The more you practice these the more natural they will become to you, and you will start to believe them.
This practice is commonly known as ho’oponopono.
Compassion is one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal. Again, you don’t have to actually show compassion to someone who has wronged you, but you have to connect with your own compassion. This includes feeling forgiveness for yourself.
Compassion is the ability to feel empathy and to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It means thinking things like, ‘I don’t know what personal issues she was facing when she hurt me,’ and ‘Every person has their own suffering, and every person is human.’
Think about the other person, or yourself, as though they were a very close friend. Would you treat a friend this way? Could you connect with your friend’s suffering? Could you forgive them and free you both? Treat yourself like a close friend too, no matter how hard is seems. Forgive yourself, show yourself kindness and humanity.
Intuitive Intelligence is the key
If this all still sounds a bit hard, you don’t need to do it alone. At the Institute we teach you techniques and practices that will help you to forgive and release yourself from unhappiness and fear. We can help you connect with self-love, and unlock the infinite possibilities that follow…
Find out more about training with Institute for Intuitive Intelligence.
Dr Ricci-Jane Adams is the principal of the Institute for Intuitive Intelligence, a world-class, global professional intuition training school. She trains exceptional spiritual women as new paradigm priestesses, socially conscious leaders and profound mystics. Ricci-Jane is the author of bestselling Spiritually Fierce, as well as Intuitive Intelligence Training and the forthcoming Superconscious Intuition. Ricci-Jane has a doctorate from the University of Melbourne in magical realism. She has spent over twenty-five years devoted to her spiritual awakening and is a qualified Transpersonal Counsellor. Subscribe to the Mailing List